My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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