Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
