i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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