Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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