do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
