So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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