I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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