If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
