Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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