Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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