Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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