i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
