We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
