I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
