he wants to bone in the snuggie
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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