Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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