That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
