this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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