I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
