im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
