I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
