Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
