why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
