the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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