My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We had to coat check the pizza.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
