Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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