Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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