i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
