Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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