Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
