is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wish my penis had a tongue
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
