you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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