A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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