I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
