At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
