I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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