dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My bed smells like the plague
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize