all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
