he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
