btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
