Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize