Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize