The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
