why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
