I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
