So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
