yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
