Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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