Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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