I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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