Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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