youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
