Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
