I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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