i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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