i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
