So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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