I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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