You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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