soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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